This is parable about the girl that met Angel. The most beautiful among all the angels, but to be honest, it was Fallen Angel. It is easy to say she met Devil.
Some religions inform that it is necessary to overcome the suffering inside the person, to liquidate all wishes, to become pure. This Angel was relieved from all the wishes. He stopped WISHING, when he realized that any his wishes could be done. If you have everything, you want nothing. But with this revelation another one came to him. Suddenly he felt unbearable melancholy. He had no any reason to live.
People live by controlling of their wishes. No wish no life. Everything that they do, they do because of certain wishing aims. They want satisfaction, love, knowledge, money, fame. And all of them think that they have sense in their life. But what kind of? There is no answer. There are only wishes that give the person the strength to live. If there won’t be these wishes…
And that is why Devil began to look for the death… until he met one girl.
“You should live, because I love you”, said the girl to Devil.
“And what from that? – He answered. – Love is nonentity. There is no any sense in it. Falling in love, the person is dreaming about eternity, but yearning the quick completion – the wish satisfaction, discharging. That is why all beautiful love-stories finish in that moment, when lovers have the possibility to enjoy quite enough of each other”.
The girl burst into tears and went away. She has a nightmare. She has a dream that she disappointed in her lover. But if she disappointed, did she really love him?
She woke up in cold sweat and realized how much suffering her lover survived. A lot of girls fell in love with him, but no one really loved him.
“Yes, Love is egoistic, - the girl agreed. – And it passes quickly. Perhaps it will turn into friendship or heartfelt closeness. But it will no longer be Love. It is true”.
“So why should I live for you? – Devil raised the eyebrow. – Not for the sake of your passing pleasure!”
“You must live because due to you my life is filled with sense, - a girl answered. – I understand you. I am looking inside your heart and I see the Light there. You want to look frightful and wicked. But I live by your Light and you won’t hide It from me”.
Devil bitterly smiled and turned back upon the girl. He didn’t want her to see his tears.
“And what from that? – He said. – If you look in abyss for a long time, you will feel that it beckons you. Who said that it is good?”
And the girl went away again, but in the night she had another nightmare. She was standing on the brink of giant cleft and was looking downward. It seemed that this abyss was like infinity.
But there, in the deep, someone was. The girl physically felt someone’s breath. Strange, insuperable draught arose up in her. Just a second – and she would dash into this abyss.
And at the last moment she suddenly felt something, lifted up her head and… there was the sky above her. Clear-blue, high-high sky!
“No, I don’t feel despair, darling, - she said to Devil on the next day. – I see your abyss, but I see the world around. Yes, it is bigger than my feeling to you. Bigger, because there is always something bigger. But my feeling is that the best that is in it.”
“But why should I live?! – Devil cried. – I don’t want to live for someone!”
“But you don’t live for someone”, - the girl answered and smiled.
“How?” – Devil surprised.
“You are simply necessary, - her face remained calm, and her eyes were lighting, like the dawn sun. – You just need to realize – you are necessary. You are necessary! And that’s all”.
“Is your body telling all this?” – Devil attentively looked at the girl’s eyes.
“No”, - she answered.
“Is your consciousness telling all this?” – he asked again.
“No”, - the girl answered again.
“So the spirit talks this into you”, - Devil decided.
“No”, - the girl answered in the third time.
“But what?!” – He was surprised.
“You”, - answered the girl with smile.
And after this she hugged Devil and angel whispered to her soul:”I came to you to wake you up. Now we belong to a single whole. Forever… ”
It is the fragment from the book I was reading once... I translated it into English. Hope you will like it.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know the sense of my life… What am I living for? What is my mission?
ReplyDeleteOnce I thought that my mission is to give everybody kindness and light, to bring love to this World. That is why I was trying to be the best. At that time I met a lot of different people and I gave a part of myself to them. A lot of people thought that I’m an ideal girl. They were dreaming and thinking about me, but no changes and no actions from their side. I was the White Angel for people – little and kind. They made me inaccessible for themselves. I was trying to change people, the World. But the World is cruel! Nobody could change it! What a fool I was!!!
Suddenly I tired of the “White Angel” label…
Realized that the World is dreadful, I wanted to be as wicked as the World is! Metaphorically speaking my white wings became black. It has been well said that “when someone breaks the Angel’s wings, the last one have to fly on broom”. So I took my wings to dry-cleaner, put my nimbus on the charge, took the broom and flew. I was enjoying of my fly. But such life hasn’t sense. It is senseless to be malicious in this cruel World. And I tired.
I can’t find the sense of my life, any reason to be in this World. I’m tired of my searching. I lost my way, got into a muddle and I can’t find the way out. Damned labyrinth! I want to fade away…
Every time I am disturbed by an idea that once I will die, not realizing the fact that life is so short and I wasted it…
But life without sense is too hard for me. If I can’t find the sense of life for myself, the only way is to disappear. But how?