Today is the 21st of September… I was thinking that it would be always the special day for me; and not because of the Blessed Virgin Mary's Birthday (Orthodox), but of my acquaintance with the special person. Very fast he became closer to me, I let myself thinking about him, I opened my soul, gave him a part of myself that I knew he could break. And he did it... In spite of a lot of good and happy minutes spending together, he made a decision that is very hard for me… It hurts a lot… As I was writing before (at the very beginning of my blog): “The string is broken… and it hurts…” Something good and light died inside me.
But I keep smiling (or trying to smile), because if I don’t smile – I will burst into tears. So I smiled in hundredth times, answered that everything is perfect, in spite of the tears that are like lump in my throat.
Today is our anniversary – the year of our acquaintance. Am I happy? Should I celebrate it? Will it be correct to celebrate this event, when he pushed me away and refused of my feelings?
I don’t want to think about it…
Anyway I put on nice, but black dress, made the specific make-up, will have a holiday dinner (with the glass of wine)… Because this day SHOULD be special! Even after all the things that he has done… Especially after all the things I was trying to do.
This person is really a special one for me, his attendance is very important for my life. But it’s a pity that I’m not the same for him…
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