Today I have a damn mood!!! My nerves are good for nothing… I want to cry! I am waiting for the moment I could do it without any witnesses. I know that my crying has no sense, but I really need to be face to face with my tears…
What’s happen with me? What am I doing wrong? Why do I feel like this?
My life is sinking like sand through the fingers… I’m trying to find the right vessel to gather all sand and not to lose any grain, but I can’t… I’m losing myself…
I’m overwatching my life and realizing that I am wasting my time. Everything that I built is destroying like card-castle… Something is wrong, but I can’t understand WHAT exactly. I have nothing, nothing, nothing… except my silly illusions.
What shall I do to save all I love? What shall I do to stop this awful crashing?
I feel my misery…
I’m tired of such life… I don’t want to be strong anymore!!! I’m tired of all trying to make the World better, to improve my life… I want to have my own cave to hide there and do not go out for a long time.
Who can help me?
I've just remembered the poem of Ukrainian writer:
ReplyDeletePrzecieka piasek miedzy palcami
suchy od pragnienia i zbolaly
w zarnach zycia przetarty
ale jeszcze zywy
zyciem przeszlym…
przecieka miedzy palcami piacek
chciwie zaciskaja sie palce
wyslizguja sie chwile po ziarnku
z kazdym z nich znika cos innego
bezpowrotnie…
…gdy zapalily sie gwiazdy
natychmiast zgasly moje nadzieje
przecieka suchy piasek
miedzy suchymi palcami…
(Autor - J.Zawgorodnij, Tlumacz - K.Burnat)